• marieskilling

Be Tenacious: Doing the Work for You

I'm not going to sugar coat the importance of doing the work in the same way I don't expect you believe in overnight successes. You see, even if the media talks about a musician that appears ready for the stage and seemed to appear from nowhere, they've usually been singing, dancing or strumming some sort of string years before that announcement.

There's natural talent for something in all of us, but it's rare to witness more than the initial spark in someone without there being a need for them to hone what they know to get it to a professional standard. A standard set by us, the people who want to view or pay for what we see, hear, touch, smell and taste.

But why the word Tenacious?

I was obviously looking for the T in BITCH at one stage and although I actually found it fairly straightforward to find a word that resonated for each letter, looking for one to represent T took a little more time than the others. But time was something I was willing to give to get it right.

But that's the tenacity I have within me. Not patience I might add. I've always been happy working towards something, but it's taken some time to learn to be patient.

I was first told I was tenacious by someone I worked for. I'd not heard of the word then, but I liked it. Mostly just the sound of it if I'm honest. As a write, the sound of words brings me absolute joy because the sound gives me something to play with , particularly in poetry.

But although I liked the sound of the word tenacity when I first heard it, I didn't really pay much attention to its meaning. It just sounded cool.

That was until I mused over whether I wanted to use it as part of a huge piece of work I wanted to embark on: The Bitch Pad!

And so that involved more tenacity to look at its meaning in a way that I felt intuitively aligned with to go out on a limb with it and put it at the forefront of what The Bitch Pad means.

It became a creative process to see how the word felt, how easy it rolled off the tongue or sounded and whether its meaning was appropriate for my intentions.

I kept looking for other words, just to make sure I'd done my due diligence but my intuition kept screaming at me to use it, and who am I to ignore that?

Tenacity Rules

The meaning of tenacious or tenacity that appealed to me was this...


The quality or fact of being very determined; determination.

In other words, having the persistence to see things through to realise what you want.

When I read that definition there was no question that this word was in. It tied together all the others with the glue I was looking for to ensure the book I was writing had the right ingredients to guide my readers. It was the word that would guide me, and hopefully you to work towards all that you want for you, by being brave, tuning into your intuition, and being creative with your efforts to lead with your heart towards all that you want.

There was no doubt that tenacity had the meaning I was looking for!

Realising Dreams

You see, dreams without effort remain just that. There is no overnight success and there is no way forward without some effort to walk in the direction you seek.

Now, you don't have to do all the work, but you do have to put effort into ticking all the controllable boxes that only you can take charge of. That includes getting the support you need to help you make it to the finish line and then shift the race to your pace as you sustain it for the long run.

As you change your life!

Doing the Work

And the reward you gain from doing the work is well worth it in the end because you secure your future. A far cry from the dissatisfaction that can often be felt when people get things handed to them on a silver platter.

Yes, it can be tough along the way, but when you're journeying towards what you want, what is a bump or a pot hole to put you off? I should know, I hit two potholes and jarred my shoulder with the second one a couple of days before writing this post.

In this world, you're going to have to work towards something, and so you may as well work towards something you love.

In a busy world we sometimes have to say STOP to even remember what we love, which is a sad state of affairs. But it's essential when we feel stuck, and it's a good idea to pause regularly to keep us in flow.

If you're feeling stuck, something is blocking you that is serving up the STOP sign in a different way. Something is stopping you rather than you requesting it.

If this is happening it's helpful to scan your life to understand why.

What stops you?

If you think you're all alone and there's nobody to help you, think again.

If you don't have the confidence, dig deep and learn to be brave.

If you don't know where to start, begin with your intuition.

If you've started but lost your way, it's time to get creative.

If you don't know what you want, listen to your heart.

Your heart will always tell you because SHE knows you best.

And if you don't know where to start, just start. You'll probably go wrong somewhere along the line, but who hasn't?

Notice that I've linked the words that define B.I.T.C.H in the statements above. The links will take you to the relevant blog/podcast when they become available.

How to start

If you're sitting there thinking that this just sounds conceptual and the meat on the bones is missing (sorry for that analogy vegans), here is how I begin as a writer (use your intuition to find your steps that suit what you do).

I always begin at the beginning of a piece of paper. Top-left, way above the margin or on a blank page to ensure I'm already breaking the unwritten rules of writing to get me on my way.

Next, I put a pen on that piece of paper.

And then I start moving that pen. I allow it to glide across the paper just to see what happens.

I do this as I connect with my breath, and tune into what wants to be freed from somewhere within me.

Sometimes it makes sense and has context, but not always.

Something new sometimes appears.

And sometimes, it's just a release of what is getting in my way, and when I release it, the good stuff then comes out to play!

I don't read what I write as it flows, I don't often really see what's in front of me. I just let the pen glide and feel into the process. And oh my word the words flow more freely and deliver me messages I couldn't have thought up any other way because I am writing so free.

Find your way

You might have read the above and thought, 'but she's a writer, that won't suit me'.

The thing is, I start in that way whether I'm writing a book, a blog post or doing nothing of the sort. Writing is just my way of getting started.

Perhaps your way is a vision board, researching online, moving your body, putting some music on or having a hot drink by your side. I do a few of these things too because mixing it up helps different things to release at different times.

It's also important to remember that we change throughout the day, and from day to day, so when you're starting out, try not to get caught up in these two little traps:

  1. I can't start unless I have XYZ lined up (that's called procrastination)

  2. Nothing is working for me today despite all my conditions being right (that's called a laboratory).

Let it be messy.

Let it be you in your rawest form.

Express haphazardly.

Break the rules.

Persist even when you feel like you want to resist.

Chop it, change it and cut it up.

And don't let perfection get in your way!

Find ways that serve you but don't let them become things that stop you.

If I don't have paper and pen, I use the notes app on my phone (I've written whole book chapters on it). Have your regular way and then have backup plans or allow spontaneous suggestions to surface, so that your way doesn't end up getting in your way.

Find what facilitates you rather than what hinders you.

If you're favourite way isn't working, don't let that be a reason to stop you.

Switch to something else if it suits you one day!

Don't accept the excuses your mind wants you to believe.

Persevere for you

Even when you've found your way, expect doubt to seep in sometimes. It loves to do that. It's a skill of your mind designed to question your path. It's like an unwelcome guest that just loves to pop up when you're feeling good about all that you're doing.